Almost one year ago was the most epic St. Patrick's Day throw down of my life, and likely to be the last. Some lessons are learned hard and fast. Some lessons are only learned after you wake up in a drunk tank. However you may learn them, make sure you use that knowledge to the best of your ability. My life lesson was founded on the effort to wear a different funny Irish t-shirt for every hour, drink only Jameson whiskey and green beer, and make-out with at least three women.
The St. Patrick's Day in question began like any other. I was intending to go out and party with my friends for around five hours, so I wore five layers of funny Irish t-shirts in order to wear a new one every hour. The first stop of the pub crawl was scheduled for one hour, and it began with three quick shots of Jameson whiskey and a pint of green beer. I immediately got separated from my group when the bus left me and my brother behind. I was drunk, and I took off my first funny Irish t-shirt and gave it to a pretty girl.
I totally did not care that my friends were gone, because I found another bar without the help of anyone. The second hour was actually really fun, and in the heat of the laughing and dancing and talking I must have drunk a lot more booze than I meant to. I bartered away two of my funny Irish t-shirts to these girls who I wanted to see make out, which ended well because they flashed me for free. I felt I got a bargain. I then left them to make out with a fat girl in the corner who didn't seem to mind how drunk I was as lone as I didn't mind how fat she was.
In the third hour things started getting hazy. I know that the chunky girl had a brother, who punched me very hard in the ribs while I was kissing her. It hurt very much, but my efforts for revenge only got me ejected from the bar by bouncers...which also hurt pretty bad. I found the first pub I had gone to and proceeded to drink more shots of Jameson whiskey. Hour number three ended with me throwing up outside.
There is no accounting for the rest of the night. I have no idea what time I woke up, but it was on a smelly mattress in a jail cell. I had to have my friends bail me out, and I just now finished paying them back and paying for all of my fines. The fun I had that night in no way compensates for waking up sans funny Irish t-shirts in jail with hair dyed green. I do believe this year will be spent at home and watching Irish-themed movies. I may even go to mass.
The St. Patrick's Day in question began like any other. I was intending to go out and party with my friends for around five hours, so I wore five layers of funny Irish t-shirts in order to wear a new one every hour. The first stop of the pub crawl was scheduled for one hour, and it began with three quick shots of Jameson whiskey and a pint of green beer. I immediately got separated from my group when the bus left me and my brother behind. I was drunk, and I took off my first funny Irish t-shirt and gave it to a pretty girl.
I totally did not care that my friends were gone, because I found another bar without the help of anyone. The second hour was actually really fun, and in the heat of the laughing and dancing and talking I must have drunk a lot more booze than I meant to. I bartered away two of my funny Irish t-shirts to these girls who I wanted to see make out, which ended well because they flashed me for free. I felt I got a bargain. I then left them to make out with a fat girl in the corner who didn't seem to mind how drunk I was as lone as I didn't mind how fat she was.
In the third hour things started getting hazy. I know that the chunky girl had a brother, who punched me very hard in the ribs while I was kissing her. It hurt very much, but my efforts for revenge only got me ejected from the bar by bouncers...which also hurt pretty bad. I found the first pub I had gone to and proceeded to drink more shots of Jameson whiskey. Hour number three ended with me throwing up outside.
There is no accounting for the rest of the night. I have no idea what time I woke up, but it was on a smelly mattress in a jail cell. I had to have my friends bail me out, and I just now finished paying them back and paying for all of my fines. The fun I had that night in no way compensates for waking up sans funny Irish t-shirts in jail with hair dyed green. I do believe this year will be spent at home and watching Irish-themed movies. I may even go to mass.
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