There is an old adage that says all work and no play make Jack a dull boy. Since this is true, everyone has the responsibility of finding out how to be happy. Some tips for being happy are quite expensive. If you do not have money to spend shopping or going to the parks, university jokes can be a good option even if you are not a student in tertiary institution.
Here is a joke you will like to hear. Some scientists set up some apparatus to experiment on a dog. They had some knives and clothes to wipe away blood. At first, they cut off one leg of the dog and asked it to walk. The dog walked so they cut off the second one and asked it to move again. It did so for the second time so they cut off three of its legs and asked it to move again. This third time, the dog did not move. The scientists therefore concluded that dogs with only one leg cannot move because they do not hear well.
Another joke goes this way. An English teacher came to the class and asked her students about the longest word in the English dictionary. To her surprise, a student rose up and said "SMILES". When he was asked to explain he said that a mile exists between the first and last letters of the word.
You may also make this joke for the listening pleasure of your friend. In a geography class, a teacher asked a student to locate America on the map. One of them, Maria, got up and pointed correctly. Impressed, the teacher applauded and decided to ask the class another question, "who founded America". To this, the class unanimously answered, "America was founded by Maria".
Here is another one. A man was apprehended by the police for driving beyond speed limit. When he was taken to the station, the officer told him he was going to hand him a ticket for his recklessness. Although the man tried to explain to the officer, his attempts were all futile. He was angry and asked the officer if he would get another ticket for calling him a selfish man. The officer replied "sure, I will". The man asked again, "what if I just think you are selfish?". The officer replied, "Well I won't give you a ticket for thinking I am selfish". So the man answered, "You know officer, I think you are just a selfish man".
Here is another one. John and his grandmother are fond of themselves so they always attend occasions such as funerals and weddings. Each time they come back from a wedding ceremony, the grandmother would turn to John and say, "get prepared for you are the next in line". Ten years later, the grandmother stopped making this emphasis after John told her one day after a funeral service, "Grandmother, please be prepared because you may be the next the line."
Again, two drunken men just left a bar at night. One of them looked up and saw something shining in the sky and asked, "Is that the moon or the sun?". The other man replied, "I sincerely do not know because I am a stranger in this land."
Here is a conversation between two women. One of them went to congratulate the other over her new born baby. She asked, "What is his name?". The other woman replied, "I do not know, I cannot hear what he is saying."
Here is a joke you will like to hear. Some scientists set up some apparatus to experiment on a dog. They had some knives and clothes to wipe away blood. At first, they cut off one leg of the dog and asked it to walk. The dog walked so they cut off the second one and asked it to move again. It did so for the second time so they cut off three of its legs and asked it to move again. This third time, the dog did not move. The scientists therefore concluded that dogs with only one leg cannot move because they do not hear well.
Another joke goes this way. An English teacher came to the class and asked her students about the longest word in the English dictionary. To her surprise, a student rose up and said "SMILES". When he was asked to explain he said that a mile exists between the first and last letters of the word.
You may also make this joke for the listening pleasure of your friend. In a geography class, a teacher asked a student to locate America on the map. One of them, Maria, got up and pointed correctly. Impressed, the teacher applauded and decided to ask the class another question, "who founded America". To this, the class unanimously answered, "America was founded by Maria".
Here is another one. A man was apprehended by the police for driving beyond speed limit. When he was taken to the station, the officer told him he was going to hand him a ticket for his recklessness. Although the man tried to explain to the officer, his attempts were all futile. He was angry and asked the officer if he would get another ticket for calling him a selfish man. The officer replied "sure, I will". The man asked again, "what if I just think you are selfish?". The officer replied, "Well I won't give you a ticket for thinking I am selfish". So the man answered, "You know officer, I think you are just a selfish man".
Here is another one. John and his grandmother are fond of themselves so they always attend occasions such as funerals and weddings. Each time they come back from a wedding ceremony, the grandmother would turn to John and say, "get prepared for you are the next in line". Ten years later, the grandmother stopped making this emphasis after John told her one day after a funeral service, "Grandmother, please be prepared because you may be the next the line."
Again, two drunken men just left a bar at night. One of them looked up and saw something shining in the sky and asked, "Is that the moon or the sun?". The other man replied, "I sincerely do not know because I am a stranger in this land."
Here is a conversation between two women. One of them went to congratulate the other over her new born baby. She asked, "What is his name?". The other woman replied, "I do not know, I cannot hear what he is saying."
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